i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Boobs speak an international language.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
