I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
