We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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