some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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