Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
