I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
