Can i not drive my cunt home
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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