shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my poor anus
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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