I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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