What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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