Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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