my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize