If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize