Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
