The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
