I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
