Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
