what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear