U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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