pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize