Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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