I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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