I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
