Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
