I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
