I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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