I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
