do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
