I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
