I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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