How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
