I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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