ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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