She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
