I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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