you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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