The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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