At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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