I'm really into asian looking animals
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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