oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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