Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize