Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My balls are so social today.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
