so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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