Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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