i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
