: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
