Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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