I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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