No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
