let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
