theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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