Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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