You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize