I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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