carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
