i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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