He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
