If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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