If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize