Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
