and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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