If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
