it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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