SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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